I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My feet surprised me
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