You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
