ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize