Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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