you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
