She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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