I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
