a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
