He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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