You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
