Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
