I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They are going to name an STD after you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
