Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
