doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
