You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
