Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
