Can Purell be used as lube?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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