her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
