no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
