The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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