yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
