Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
try to milk me bitch
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