idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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