you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
