Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
