Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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