I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize