watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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