she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
