she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
