so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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