she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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