they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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