is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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