Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize