all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
