Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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