I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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