Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
