i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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