What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize