i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
