What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
