The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
