I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
operation have a gay friend backfired
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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