Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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