She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize