i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
