I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Terrible idea I love it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
