Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
