SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Someone shattered a urinal.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
