Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
