doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
