He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
