How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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