I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
