someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
