Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
